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Translating Nick Cummins
It’s funny, how many of us can be attracted to people who throw, run with, catch or kick a football. Leather or pig, it doesn’t matter. We love it.
We are fascinated by athleticism, mindless skill, the ability to seize victory instead of defeat and vice versa. We love it when it goes well and we love it even more when it goes wrong because then we become the loud voice of all that is good and true, also known as the chairperson.
We love outdoor activities. But every now and then a great sportsman comes along who can be entertaining just by opening his mouth and saying a few words. One of these people is an Australian rugby player named Nick Cummins.
Knowing Nick Cummins and loving him. But the hardest part is getting to know him, especially if you’re not from Australia. Nick Cummins speaks English but not as you know it. To follow what he says requires an understanding of the unusual, Australian English. If you don’t understand then you won’t know what the hell he is talking about.
Let me throw a few Nick Cummins-isms at you so you understand what I mean.
Nick Cummins has a nickname. Known as the Honey Badger. He was interviewed after a rugby match and was asked how he came up with the name and this is what he had to say:
“One story that inspires me is that a badger killed a lion one-on-one. What happened was that he shot canastas in a large group. He just got on the ball one and two. bag and the big guy walked into the corner and fell … to me it’s great.”
If you read the passage two or three times you will get what he is evading. Kind of. Maybe. The Japanese don’t. Nick Cummins is currently playing as a professional in Tokyo and the Japanese have named him Honey Budger, which is cute.
But really, Nick Cummins needs to be accompanied by a professional translator at all times. Luckily for you, I speak very good Australian and am happy to translate his best words into something equivalent to English.
Commentary: “I just saw the line, it was close to my ears and I ended up picking up a little bit of meat in the corner at the top.”
Interpretation: I saw the try line, ran to the limit of my ability and was able to score, which was exciting.
Comment: “Yeah my bloody friend was like a rat on top of a drainpipe in one of them runs over there.”
Translation: I ran very fast at one time.
Comment: “She was huffin’ and puffin’ and, her husband did well, he always does, he’s a tough cock.”
Translation: My teammate was breathing heavily but he persevered. He always does. It is very strong.
Comment: “I’ll have a truckload of pudding and, old ladies cook well, so, dad will get the cooking done there and mom and dad will work together and make a big meal and I’ll go. come and rule.
Translation: I want to eat more pudding. My mother is also very good at cooking. My father is preparing food there. The two will combine their skills to create the perfect meal. So I want to eat it all.
Comment: “I was busier than a one-legged man in a bum-kicking competition.”
Translation: I was under a lot of pressure because of the task I was given in the game.
Of course when people hear Nick Cummins coming out with these things they are shocked but in a good way. To borrow an Australianism, the Honey Badger is a fan of dinkum and sadly there are very few of them.
But it would be simplistic and unfair to describe Nick Cummins as a one-trick pony when it comes to creating things that we can all laugh at and admire on the pitch.
He is also a devoted and loving child to his parents and brothers and sisters. As a rugby player, Nick Cummins is at the top of his game. He plays practice rugby for Australia. But he recently turned down the game in Australia to play rugby in Japan but not for the reasons you might think.
Yes, he did it for money. But not about himself, it was about his family. Nick Cummins’ father has an incurable prostate cancer that has kept him out of work and this has put a huge strain on the family’s finances. Nick Cummins has seven siblings, two of whom have cystic fibrosis, an incurable lung disease. Then Nick got in and went up. He accepted a lucrative job but it will help the family through difficult times.
Cummins has 40,000 followers on Instagram, 34,000 on Twitter and his sports videos have millions of views on YouTube.
He is one of the few people to win a national rugby union tour of Australia with only a few choice words uttered in television interviews.
While in Japan he filmed a TV commercial. You should check them out. Like an old fashioned person but a lot more fun IMO.
So he is gone but not forgotten. We hope they will come back soon to entertain us again. The world needs guys like Nick Cummins not because we like to watch a talented athlete. They make us laugh and they are the best medicine there is.
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